Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Bleh....I'm overwhelmed again. It's almost to the point of being debilitating. For those of you who don't know, I have Bipolar Disorder II. So, I'm in an upswing and I'm feeling really creative and motivated, but there are so many things I want to do and my mind can't focus enough to complete any of them, so the result is nothing gets done and I'm overwhelmed and I feel guilty.

We are starting the ADD evaluation for Ethan. Things are getting a little out of hand at home and school. The pediatrician originally wanted me to wait until Ethan turned 6, but that's only two months away and by then he will be out of school for the summer. Part of the evaluation is done by the teacher, that's kind of hard to get done if you're out for summer break. I'm not sure what to think about it all. If he is diagnosed with it, that means there is something to blame for all the problems, a name for it. But it also means the possibility of medicating such a young, sweet little body. That scares me. I know how miserable it is to try different meds and deal with the side-affects and put so much hope in them, only to find out a few months later that they don't work, they aren't the "right fit," and you feel like you've wasted so much time. A child so young, that can not choose for himself, should not have to go through that. But, if/when we do find the right med it could mean a much happier, focused, well behaving boy. Life could be a lot better. What a risk to take.

Today the pediatrician told me that if Delilah gets one more bout of wheezing cough within the next couple of months it could indicate that she has asthma. Also, if she gets another round of ear infections she has to have tubs put in her ears. That means surgery! My little baby, just over 4 months. She can't have surgery, she's way too young for my liking to have it. But, I don't want to put her hearing at risk. You know, for a baby that has been sick so much, she is so happy and such a joy. I would've never known she was sick judging by her temperament.

Wow, what a downer. I guess that goes to show I shouldn't read sad blogs before I write my own. I'll try to make up for it by posting a super cute pic.


This is what the kids woke up to on April Fool's Day morning. Aaron had drawn the mustaches on with my eyeliner. Thankfully he didn't think I needed one too.